Knowing Your Inner Feminine & Masculine.

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Do you ever feel there is more than one version of yourself that lives within?

It has taken a long time to surrender and acknowledge that, by nature I am a pretty slow person. It’s the pace I live best by, and the way I feel the most in touch with myself, and my intuition. In the Eastern world this would be perceived as being more Yin. For example:

I’m slow to feel in to new ideas.
Slow to open up my heart.
Slow to make decisions, I often need to sit on things.
Slow to feel ok with change (+ a Taurean sun sign!)
I’m slow to trust…

Before I knew this, I used to live my life at the pace of a sprinter.

This speedy side would equate to being more Yang in the Eastern world. For example:

I like moving (fitness enthusiast) and feeling productive.
I enjoy the sense of feeling busy.
I want to get from A-Z fast yesterday!
I’m ambitious and can be incredibly impatient!
I’m prone to anxiety and restlessness.
Growing up I was literally a sprinter! I still love the adrenaline of sprint training.

So, how do I integrate these two conflicting sides of me?

My understanding is that the slow version of me, is my feminine side or the Yin as stated above, and the fast, she masculine or of Yang nature..

Both our inner masculine and feminine have gifts and are important, though it’s more common that we are living predominantly from one side, causing an imbalance, which can create problems and unhappiness in our life, so in order to regain balance, we need to spend a little time getting to know, and nurturing the opposite side.

In my case, growing up with a single mum who had to activate her masculine side more and was often in survival mode providing for us on her own, very little time was spent modeling spontaneity, creativity or play (aka nurturing of the feminine). Instead I felt a need to grow up quite fast, and be responsible, which contributed to having my inner masculine more active.

I knew how to survive and provide for myself independently from a very young age, which has served an amazing purpose, and has built me a business which provides for me… however, these days I can sense the imbalance and tiredness from having the masculine in the drivers seat for too long.

Let me outline a little more on what the qualities of masculine and feminine.

Feminine Gifts:

– Empathetic
– Caring
– Nurturing
– Intuitive
– Creativity
– Flexible
– Surrender
– Night time
– Quiet
– Inclusive

Masculine Gifts:

– Order
– Action
– Ambitious
– Control
– Direct
– Logical
– Survival instincs
– Day time
– Boundaries
– Independent

Which qualities do you identify with most at this point in time?

What does the fast/masculine/yang side want for you? How does it get it’s needs met?
What are the gifts your masculine side brings in to your life?
What age do you feel it was activated when you look back on a timeline?
Does this part of you feel stronger than the feminine when you read the qualities?
Does this side ever hinder you or get in the way of your happiness? How?

Now ask yourself these same questions for the feminines/slow/yin side!!

NB: This is not just for women, just because I am a woman doesn’t mean I need to be more in my Yin. A woman can have an under active Yang/masculine side that needs to come up also. And likewise, some men can have a stronger feminine, or under active masculine.

We dance between the two, the trick is to find harmony between the two, through self awareness (i.e. taking the time to reflect and getting to know your Yin and Yang sides, and what roles they are playing in your life, and their appropriateness. The questions I have included above is a great place to start… the answers might not come straight away, you may need to take some time sitting with the idea before you begin to see their roles and where they come in to your life. Be playful with it.

At this point in my own life, I personally feel my best when things are approached at a slow pace, so I am working more on activating and allowing the feminine side of me to grow, and am spending time unwinding my more masculine directed, ambitious, structured self. I can feel the importance to give more expression and surrender to her softness and sensitivity.

Whether this is a new idea for you today or not, getting to know your inner masculine and feminine can be a powerful tool for self development, and understanding yourself. Through self inquiry we are able to transform, and know our selves, and thus, live a healthier, happier life with our self, and others.

Happy Yin and Yang dancing, friends!!

Love Candice

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