10 Steps from Self Sabotage to Self Empowerment
There is absolutely no denying the connection between practical acts of self worth and holding down a loving relationship with your body.
Have you ever noticed, that the harsher you are on yourself for any slip ups you make, the deeper you fall in to the very habit you’re trying to break away from? As the old saying goes, “what you resist will persist.” A cycle that keeps you on the hamster wheel of unhappiness and stuck in a state of sabotage.
The good news is most of us have this aspect of ourselves (though we usually hide it away for no one else to see) and we most certainly do not have to stay victim to it forever. What we need to do is create a supportive, kind environment that allows us to step away from self sabotage and in to self love and self empowerment.
Here are 10 of my best tips for creating a positive mindset, and finding inner peace.
1. Put Routine In to Your Exercise
Exercising when you can is great, any exercise at all should be commended – however it is worth noting that the most successful people in the world have their exercise routine mastered down to the ground. Put structure in to your fitness by setting out your workouts at the beginning of each week… and stick to them, non negotiable! I prefer to exercise in the morning as it sets me up for my day in a positive way. You may prefer to train in the afternoons to unwind and let off steam after work, or squeeze it in on your lunch break – there is no right or wrong time, the most important thing is to show up!
2. Social Media Scan
I call it, this the “SM Spring Clean” – It involves going through your friends/followers and unfriending/unfollowing any people you have on your feed purely as a means of “body stalking” or “life envy” (if you do it, you will know what these two terms mean). This is a self destructive habit I see often, and is becoming more and more prolific in the world of ever growing social media channels. All this does is bring up comparison and unhappiness. Trust me, you will feel so much better once you have discernibly deleted those who are not your genuine friends and stick to working on your own health, happiness and creating a life you love. This one can bring up some resistance, however it is crucial you give this step a go. Compassionate detachment.
3. You are The Company You Keep
An oldie, but a goodie. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and encourage you to be the best version of yourself you can be. Anyone in your life who rejects your authenticity, or puts you down, does not support you, or generally invokes a dull feeling in you – I encourage you to inquire further and work out if this person is in fact enhancing your life, or dampening it. Whether it be your spouse, friends, family and work colleagues – those closest to you should be your biggest cheer squad!
4. Drink Less Alcohol
Some of the people I know who reprimand themselves the most, are the ones who drink too much, too often. No one likes waking for work after one too many vinos the night before, or even worse, waking up with the “what did I do last night?” conscience. I am not a big drinker, however I often indulge in a glass of wine (or two) over the weekend if I feel like it. The times when I feel my clearest, are often those when I have taken some time away from consuming alcohol. It’s quite amazing the difference in my energy levels and emotional well-being when it is completely out of my life. Alcohol is a suppressant, and suppressing our feelings on a regular/daily basis is not conducive to a healthy relationship to our body and well-being.
5. Cook at Home More Than You Eat Out
Eating out is such a treat. I am a big fan of enjoying a delicious meal out at one of my favourite restaurants, in fact I eat breakfast out so often, I have a breakfast named after me at a local cafe, The 100mile Table. Having said this, there is no comparison to a wholesome home cooked meal from someone you love. I always feel so nourished after a home cooked meal, the cooking process is relaxing, seeing others enjoy my food is rewarding and I feel like I have nourished and supported my body with the cleanest fuel possible.
6. Make Fun Future Goals
I don’t know about you, but I work much better when I have something to look forward to. When I have a goal, my relationship with money improves and I create work and abundance out of thin air. This drive equates to determination – bringing manifestation in to reality at rapid rates (my housemate is the master of this). Think of something that ignites an excites you – perhaps a new upgrade on your car, a massage once a month at your favourite spa, a trip to see your friends for a week in the hills, or a trip to a tropical coast line for complete relaxation and sunshine… How do you choose a goal? write a short list, and read over it a few times throughout the week – you will know because it will send a spark of excitement through your body every time you think of it!
7. Take a Crash Course in Personal Responsibility
Guess what? Everything you do in your life is completely of your own choosing! Yep, a hard one to swallow at times, that what we bring in to our lives is entirely of our own choosing. The profession you choose, the debt you’re in, a toxic relationship, your horrid housemates, the extra weight you’re carrying… Take a week to notice where you may be projecting your own responsibility on to other people (it makes for an interesting reality check) and instead of blaming, take ownership. The good news is – this is one of the fastest ways to personal empowerment you can make. Taking charge of your own role and outcomes is incredibly fulfilling and opens us up to a much happier, more peaceful place.
8. Sugar Will Make a Monster Out of You!
We’ve all taken a ride on the blood sugar roller coaster before, it’s a bumpy ride. Having a sugar spike can ruin your mood, hormones, sex drive, concentration and relationships (not to mention sabotage weight loss) to name a few.. eik! People I work with report feeling like a much nicer, more calm and friendly person when they quit the sweet stuff “I feel more like myself” is a common response. Replace sugar with delicious veggies, protein and fats. One of the best ways to avoid the roller coaster is to notice where you may be having unnecessary sugar (between 2-5pm are common challenges for sweet tooth’s).
9. Meditate or Practice Yoga
Having a healthy body means having a healthy mind. Meditation is incredible for stress relief and to gain a greater perspective on your life and any situations that may be playing on your mind. If you’re anything like me and have a hard time calming your monkey mind, head to a yoga class and get a stretch as well as some mental P&Q. I also find that simply walking up the lighthouse or along the beach in silence (note: without music) is enough to drop in to a meditative state.
10. Give Out Unconditionally
Often when we feel bad about ourselves, we have a hard time complimenting others, heck, we may even scold others more because we are feeling so bad about ourselves… ugly but true. Try spending a week giving two people a compliment every single day, with no intention to receive anything back. It can be to those you love, or to a complete stranger. The beauty is, it catches on like wild fire, the more you give out without any agenda – the more friendliness you will notice comes back your way! A truly empowering way to let go of sabotage.
*Bonus Step* Get Your Gear Off
I truly believe no one spends enough time naked anymore! We all get around in multiple layers of clothing day in, day out barely catching a glimpse of what our body looks like in all it’s glory except for when we step in to the shower once, hopefully twice a day. I feel this is an over looked area when it comes to improving our connection and acceptance with our body. My suggestions: try spending an extra 10 minutes a day in the nude. Take a bath, extend your beauty regime, have a face mask in the nude, find a secluded beach and revel in the joys of a skin tingling skinny dip (or a naked vitamin D hit in your backyard), maybe you could even cook your next breakfast in the nude? Hang out with your bod more intimately, it’s rather liberating!
With Love, Candice x
