I was doing yoga in my undies this morning, eyes closed, breathing deep, getting right in to the zone and decided I was going to open my eyes to check on my alignment… when all of a sudden this thought swooned in out of nowhere…
“I have gained a few kilos from when I was doing my regular practice six months ago, maybe I should just keep my eyes closed until I am feeling more confident and have lost some winter weight”
How many times these sorts of thoughts have cropped up in my life!! I know so many other women can relate… that resistance and fear of not liking where our body is at and doing everything we can to avoid it!
When I am feeling not up to my own visual standards, I find myself avoiding being intimate with my own body, and by intimate, it can be anything from stripping off before a shower without looking in the mirror and rushing through my moisturising so I don’t have to observe the lumps and bumps my body has formed…
It’s also apparent frequently when I practice yoga (like this morning), the space and presence to coming back in to my body can reveal how averted I am at times by my own tummy in it’s little pretzel shape, squeezing all the skin, fat, and organs in to a shape I don’t approve of… or better still, that I feel others won’t approve of!
For too many of the female species, this is a big deal when making love also! I have friends who’s partners have never experienced them sexually without wearing a bra, because of the fear that certain positions won’t be flattering to how their breasts will look..
If we are at all caught up in how we look during the throws of sex, we rob our self (and our lover!) of so much enjoyment, at the cost of not being able to fully let go and experience all the subtle sensations shared during love making that makes us feel intimate with another.
The way to overcome these feelings when they crop up whether it’s in yoga or in the bedroom, is to simply open your eyes, and walk right in to the fear of not liking what you see… which is why I so often encourage clients to spend more time naked!
Get in the garden for a nudie weed, hang out the washing, cook dinner, watch a movie… whatever you can do to normalise and get used to seeing your body regularly in all the different “unflattering” ways it moves and contours with you, because it’s normal!!! And it’s what is happening to all of us under the clothes we cover up with all day!
Today I opened my eyes during yoga, I gazed down at my legs and the several rolls my stomach made whilst I was all twisted up and smiled big, for walking in to my hallway when I could have used “lack of space” or “no mat” as an excuse, and for showing up for no-one other than me!
How can we expect others to love us unconditionally if we ourselves are not able to approve of our self through all the different phases and stages of our body’s journey?
I am all for aspiring to be at your healthiest most sexy feeling self, but I do encourage you to question what parameters you put around what that means for you…
And to perhaps consider broadening them to include this very moment, to sense you are enough, enough to be loved, not to wait to wear your most sexy feeling outfit (or to feel sexy in your most un-sexy outfit!), enough to be ravished and completely immersed in a lover, or to simply strip down to your bare butt for a downward dog or two – all with your eyes wide open!
I dare you…
Love Candice x